The Promise
by thevigilante15
Summary: tag What Happens in Burma /After their latest case, Neal's past catches up to him, letting him reveal more than he should.  Peter/Neal Father/son NOT SLASH  spoilers
1. Chapter 1

**The Promise**

**I know I have been so horrible about updating my other stories, but this one can't be ignored. It contains spoilers and implications from Forging Bonds and of course What Happens in Burma. I tried to fill in the blanks along with some of the script pieces that Jeff Eastin shared on Twitter but were later not included or altered. Maybe for the future episodes? I found myself asking a lot more questions after last night and coming up with some answers. Here is my take. Anyway, love to know your thoughts. I can have chapter 2 up tomorrow if anyone is interested. Enjoy! **

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Mozzie sighed contented with yet another one of Neal's prized wines. He sipped it gingerly, relishing its taste as well as sadly realizing Neal was right. He was going to have to start replenishing the supply. Mozzie was jarred from his thoughts as he heard a key turn and the door opened. He took note of his friends demeanor: pale faced, tired eyes, no not tired...haunted.

"So, how did it go with Chris and his father?"

After the words left Moz's mouth he began to regret them. Perhaps choice words without mentioning a happy family reunion would have been more apropos.

Neal didn't seem to hear the question at first. He shrugged off his suit jacket and hat and then began to unbutton his shirt a, few buttons slowly and with a shaky hand.

_Oh God, here it comes._

Trying to rip the band aid off faster than necessary, Moz blurted out what he feared most.

"You told the Suit, didn't you?"

Neal's usually brilliant blue eyes were dull and that was all Moz needed to see for his friend.

"Neal..."

"I told him he was a dirty cop."

Moz paused.

"And that he died when I was two."

Moz blinked once then twice.

"Really? I thought you said you would never lie to the Suit?"

Neal blanched at Mozzie's choice of words.

"I didn't exactly lie. I just didn't tell him what happened after that and he didn't ask." He had walked over to the fridge at this point and began removing a few beers that were left in there from Peter's visit the other day. He continued to move toward the couch careful not to meet Moz's eyes.

Moz watched Neal tear open the beer bottle and sighed. _Neal and beer. This was going to be bad._

Neal kept his dark head down.

"Lately, things have been...harder."

Moz snorted, not respectable but understandable.

"That is true to say the least."

Neal's eyes met Moz who had stopped mid sip.

"This case...it made me remember everything I worked so hard to forget. "

Moz replaced the glass.

"Maybe remembering isn't such a bad thing... I mean the Suit could help you..."

Neal's eyes flashed full of anger.

"There is no way, Peter can help me and you know it."

He dropped his head in his hands.

"God, Moz..."

Moz who wasn't the one who should or could be doing this but since no one else was available he had to do it. He got up from his chair at the table surrounded with beautiful things and walked over to his best friend, who was trapped in his own hell. He sat down next to him , hands folded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

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Peter twirled his fork for the hundredth time staring off past Elizabeth who had long given up trying to talk to him. Peter may have been physically present but he was a million miles away.

"Is Neal OK?"

Peter seemed to awaken at the word Neal as he finally realized his wife had been talking to him for the past hour.

"Sorry, El. It has been a really long day."

Elizabeth reached out a hand and squeezed Peter's reassuringly.

"I'm sure Neal will be OK. I mean this case probably brought up a lot of bad memories for him or at least stories for him."

Suddenly Elizabeth frowned.

"That's what it is isn't it?"

Peter met her brilliant blue eyes.

"What?"

Elizabeth's mind raced to piece together the problem set before her.

"It is understandable that Neal would be upset and angry about his past, but...there's more to it isn't there?"

Peter nodded."I think so. "

He picked up his fork and took a bite.

"He said he was two when his dad died. Then he got this strange look in his eyes...faraway you know? Like he was remembering something horrible. Then you know what the kicker was?"

Elizabeth shook her beautiful brown head.

"He said he got really good with guns."

Elizabeth frowned." Hmmm..."

Peter nodded grinning that their thoughts were on the same page.

"Exactly I mean he tried to make it as a joke, but ...he is good with guns, EL. Awfully good yet he hates them. Total contradiction.."

He took one more look a the meal and before he said another word Elizabeth began to take his plate.

"Go to him. Whether you realize it or not you can help him."

Peter met Elizabeth's determined face and prayed that she was right.

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Peter knocked on Neal's door hesitantly suddenly wishing he had stayed at home.

The door opened but it wasn't Neal who stood there.

"Can I help you, Suit? Now isn't a good time."

Peter dropped his head nodding.

"I know."

Moz cocked his head and stared deeply at Peter. Peter don't know what changed his mind but maybe he saw something...the same something Elizabeth saw, one that Peter was completely blind too. Whatever the case, Moz opened the door and let him in.

If Peter knew that things were never going to be the same, he would never have crossed the threshold.

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Well hope you liked. Please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**The Promise Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer : I had forgotten this in the first chapter but I do not own White Collar and no money is being made on this story. Words in italics are the characters thoughts. Spoilers abound from episodes past and from previews to come. **

**Thanks for all the great reviews and to my anonymous reviewers who I couldn't reply to I thank you as well. **

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Peter wasn't exactly sure what he expected to find when he entered Neal's apartment but what he found came as a bit of a shock.

Neal was slumped over on the couch, his shoes carefully removed ( probably courtesy of Moz) and surrounded by several empty beer bottles. Peter caught the sleeping form of his friend. His hair was matted to his face, drenched in sweat. His face was still pale but held the remainder of dried tear tracks running down his man before Peter looked like Neal, but Peter knew whatever had transpired tonight with Moz was not the Neal he knew...or better yet, the one he thought he knew.

"What happened to him?"

Peter didn't recognize his own voice at the moment.

Moz sighed as if the answer was obvious.

"He was strolling down memory lane thanks to your latest caper."

Peter swung his eyes to Moz. _Caper? He should talk._

Peter pulled up a chair from the kitchen and sat down, his body weary, propped up his elbows and rested his chin on his hands.

"Care to fill me in?"

Moz bit his lower lip, struggling with his diliema. It was as if the angels heard his plea and called the Suit to the rescue. Now that he was here however ...well, revealing the truth was proving to be harder.

"This has to do with his father?"

Moz threw up a silent prayer of thanksgiving to the heavens.

"Yes. " He paused not sure of how he should word this without betraying his friend.

"How much did he tell you?"

Peter kept his eyes on Neal. While he had a feeling Neal already replayed that part and more to Moz, Peter played along, understanding the man's need not to betray a confidence.

"He told me his father was a dirty cop...killed in gunfire when he was 2."

Moz remained silent.

Peter looked to his partner's confidant.

"That's not the end of it is it?"

Moz silence answered his question.

Peter leaned back in the chair resigning himself for the long haul.

"Well, I guess we wait then."

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Neal was lost in the sensations of his dreams. Men...voices...guns...lots of guns...fear...too much fear...alone

He could feel his body shivering, knew it was not real, but yet felt completely unable to stop it. Adlard's voice echoed in his head around the dark cavern he was lost among.

_Be yourself. Kate will love you for who you are...as will others._

He tried to be himself. It wasn't enough. He then tried to change himself to become better, more confident, quicker, smarter, cunning. He was a loose cannon waiting to go off. The sad thing of it all was that there was only one person in the world he could go off on:

**Neal Caffrey.**

Neal shot up on the couch breathing hard. His arms were achy. He felt his Devore pants sticking to his legs and his shirt was suddenly suffocating. Neal ran a shaky hand through his curls smoothing them back while he took in his surroundings.

Home . He was home. Not the home he was in while dreaming but the home he was making for himself_ now_.

He felt his breathing begin to subside from gulps of terror to calm serene...then Neal saw something or someone sitting in the dark refusing to move.

Neal's heart stopped. A rush of terror tore through him but he remained calm hoping, praying his guest was the one person he wanted desperately to see as well as ignore.

"Peter?"

The figure inched forward so more of the face was revealed but still in shadow. Neal sighed. _ Peter._ Sometimes he felt Peter was his curse and his salvation wrapped in one.

Peter didn't say a word at first. Probably lost in the scene before him. Neal took a look around and saw through Peter's eyes: beer bottles strewned around, a young man who looked like death.

"Peter."

It seemed to be the only word Neal could speak at the moment, but the word meant everything.

Peter kept his brown eyes on his friend.

"I know."

Neal wanted to lash out at the man before him. _He knew? He knew nothing. _Neal felt his fists curl into the sheet carefully tossed over his body while he had been asleep.

He must have had a glare that rivaled no other for Peter began to look flustered and uncomfortable.

"What I meant was...I know something is on you mind."

Neal 's hand relaxed and he dropped his shattering gaze. God, he wanted to spill his guts to Peter but unfortunately he hadn't had that much to drink (even after 6 beers) to just go : "By the way , Peter..."

Neal released his breath and leaned back into the couch. Still, the night felt strangely quiet. Even the sound of Mozzie snoring on Neal's bed seemed muted. Maybe...maybe it was Ok to talk. _Then again..._

"Your dad dying when you were two wasn't the end of it was it?"

Neal kept his eyes on the floor.

"A dirty cop...they make a lot of enemies don't they?"

Neal found his head unwillingly nodding.

Peter nodded in understanding.

"Thought so. That why you got so good with guns, Neal? Throughout your life the enemies your father made and bartered would still know where to go for payback wouldn't they?"

Neal kept a steady gaze on Peter and remained silent.

_God, Peter. I wish I could find the words. _

"You learned a lot yourself didn't you? While the other kids played cowboys and Indians, you were playing "dad" in more ways than one. Wielding guns to protect yourself and your mom."

Neal felt the floor beginning to blur before him.

He wanted to say...that he hated it... despised cleaning the guns, loading them, practically patrolling the streets after hours at the age of 12. God if his mother had found out then...Not that it mattered anymore.

"I liked it."

Neal's confession carried on a gentle breeze. Peter's breath and Neal's silence were the only things left in the room. It was as if all the oxygen was removed. Neal had flashes from another mission , one where right before he passed out in the vault. He claimed to trust Peter.

_Please Peter trust me, Peter. I can't trust myself._

"It was the power Neal. Feeling powerless, scared, you needed the power. You needed to feel safe. Believe in something."

Neal could no longer see the floor at this point and was suddenly very grateful the room was in shadows. It was as if Peter had taken a page from Neal's boyhood journal and read it aloud.

"I taught myself," the words came out sounding jumbled, forced and raw." but found others along the way. There were so many ...weapons...tools, ways to survive."

Survive. Yeah, things were not easy. His mom tried her best. Looking back on it, however , in anger, Neal realized two things: his mother lived in a fantasy world trying to keep Neal in the clouds, an illusion of safety, a perfect lie. The other truth was that she knew what her little boy had begun to do on the streets to survive..._fucking survive_...and she turned a blind eye.

" I had to , Peter. We wouldn't have made it. The men...my dad made enemies. I needed to survive. I taught Kate how to survive..."

Suddenly he was rambling again, his words and mind missing each other, blending the past and the what was still fresh in his mind. Peter remembered that particular part of the conversation they had a mere week ago. _I taught her how to survive, Neal said. Who taught him?_

Peter realized with absolute clarity that although he might have not always seen eye to eye with his parents, he had seen their eyes. They were there when he failed and when he succeeded. His dad was the kind of dad who _would_ bust through the walls of a Burma prison to save his son. In Neal's case, his father would have locked him in and thrown away the key.

"That's why you learned to con...street cons to get food on the table."

Neal nodded once.

"What about your mom? Where was she while you were doing this?"

Neal gazed steadily into Peter's eyes as the confession escaped his lips before he could stop it.

"I killed her."

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Well, hope you like. Please review. Makes me write faster.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3- The Promise**

**Disclaimer: Do not own White Collar:( making no money. Spoilers and spoilers from previews will be mentioned. Thanks for all the reviews but signed and unsigned ( whom I could not give a personal thank you to:) You guys are awesome! I didn't get as many reviews for the last chapter though and want to make sure everyone was still interested. Drop me a line and let me know. Love to hear what you think! Words in italics are once again the character's thoughts. **

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Peter felt his heart constrict at the words he had just heard. Memories of full immunity flitted through his head causing short puffs of anger to race through his blood. He shut his eyes for a moment willing himself to calm down. _Damn it, Burke. This is Neal we're talking about. Nothing is ever what it seems with Neal. Don't do anything rash. Trust him. _

"You are not a killer, Neal."

Neal's voice came out raw and bitter.

"I didn't save her."

Suddenly it all clicked for Peter.

"They came for you, didn't they? They found you..."

Neal remained silent.

Peter licked his lips caught up in the revelation, his heard racing with a sick sense of fear.

"You tried to stop them, didn't you?"

Neal gritted his teeth, his blood turning to ice at Peter's lie.

"I had the gun, Peter, and I couldn't pull the trigger."

Neal heard Peter release the breath he had been holding. _The moment of truth... _

"How many were there, Neal?"

Neal gripped his knees tightly until his knuckles whitened.

"Doesn't matter."

Peter asked softly, "How many, Neal?"

Neal swayed slightly, a moment peter caught from the corner of his eye.

"5...6...don't you get it? I couldn't do it."

The two sat perfectly still, each lost in despair for another.

"They killed her and I watched."

Peter shut his eyes tightly afraid to see the young con's face, but needing to get out the graphic images swirling in his mind.

"That's why you left, dropped out of school, wasn't it?"

Neal barely registered the whispered words of his friend trapped in a waking nightmare.

"I was 16."

"Were they ever caught, " Peter wondered.

Neal shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't know for sure. I left clues for the police of who I thought they could be , but I didn't stick around to find out." Peter desperately wanted to know how Neal escaped 6 gunmen, but figured that was a story for another time.

Peter wiped his sweaty palms on his knees.

"Jesus, Neal..."

Neal held up a hand, his voice the strength of steel.

"Don't, Peter."

He paused keeping his hand steady before him.

"I shouldn't have run, I know..."

Peter's features softened.

"That's not what I meant, Neal. God, where did you go?"

Peter stared hard at the beautiful man before him. _ What did you have to do, Neal? _

Peter stopped that train of thought as quickly as it arose. He didn't want to know.

"I did what I had to do, Peter. I conned, I stole...I survived."

Neal's eyes were pure fire, but his voice lacked something..._confidence, perhaps. So unsure._ Peter wondered. _Haunted years later. Aren't we all haunted by something?_

I"I swore I would never let anything else happen to anyone I loved..."

Peter eyes read Neal's. _ Kate. of course he is thinking of Kate... _

Neal knew what Peter was thinking and recoiled from him just a bit. His body relaxed as if he was utterly spent, the once possessed , now without his demon, an empty shell. Nothing to hold onto anymore. He had broken his own cardinal rule: he admitted to his crimes outright with no deal on the proverbial table. Peter wouldn't let that go. Admitting to conning and stealing and God knows what else Peter felt he implied...there were repercussions for things like this. Further questioning his past mistakes now brought to light.

Just as Neal was about to accept his fate, his eyes caught a glint of something shining at Peter's feet. Neal's eyes narrowed, adjusting to the darkness. On the floor lying bear was a worn wallet opened to reveal an FBI badge. _Full immunity. Why? _He had never asked Peter for this and never would. He had decided to grant Neal a gift, one without asking. That was Peter.

Neal felt as if something else was being born this night. Maybe it was a new sense of trust. A different kind of bond, perhaps. Neal and Peter's eyes met._ Peter..._

Silence was all that was needed to be said.

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Well, hope you guys liked. Reviews help me write faster:) Thanks! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4-The Promise**

**Disclaimer: I do not own White Collar nor am I making any money from it. **

**Spoilers included and spoilers from previews. Thanks again guys for reviewing and to the unsigned reviews a big thanks to you too:) Hope you enjoy. This is the final chapter. **

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Here he was laid out, bare in front of him. Peter waited for the day for what seemed like centuries. Now the day had arrived, but it was no longer held the allure that certain knowledge one discovers about their enemies. That is because Neal was not he enemy. Hell, he was just a kid dying to be heard, cared about...loved. Yeah, he was never the enemy even when on the run. he was just Neal. Beautiful, irrational Neal trapped in a world of pretense and lies. He never really had a chance to know who he was or who he could be. He went from living one lie to another, jumping from one tattered lilly pad to another a bit more lovely. but just as shakey.

_Kate._ It all came down to her and now Peter realized why. Kate was the one tangible thread in Neal's chosen reality. She cared about him. She loved him. At least that is what Neal wanted to believe. It was a good reality Peter supposed while it lasted.

When Peter looked back on it, it seemed that all the people who claimed to have cared about Neal had betrayed him to some extent including himself. Except Moz, (though Peter was sure Moz might see things differently). Peter didn't think Neal would survive if Moz ever betrayed him.

Neal simply wanted attention. His whole life revolved around it, even his crimes. Fragments of moments Neal tethered together just to survive. Who taught him? He taught himself just like everything else. he was an orphan, an independent dreamer searching for a home. Peter hoped to God that he had led him to the correct door. Neal's crossroads were messy and brilliant and the tether was thin. No Kate, full disclosure ( well as much as Peter could expect anyway from Neal). Nothing left to kept him here. What could Peter offer Neal that was of any worth to make him stay? peter always beleived you could be either the con or the man but never both. That was too tiring of a lie to keep up. Neal was tired. Peter refused to let him give up. _Ever._

"I promise you, I will never give up on you."

Neal's eyes heavy with fatigue, met Peter's once again.

"Don't make me promises you can't keep, Peter."

Peter sat up straighter with indignation and resolve.

"I don't."

Neal kept his gaze on his partner as the fire returned.

"You will never look at me the same way again will you?"

Peter sighed as he revealed his truth.

"No, I won't."

Neal flinched, his eyes giving away his emotions.

"I will see you for the first time as the man you are and the man you want to be. Not the con, but the _man_."

Neal blinked rapidly. _No crying in front of Peter._

Peter saw the emotions chocking up his friend and for the first time realized what El knew he had to do, what he had in_ himself_ to do.

He stood up, stretched his legs and sat down to the younger man.

"You asked me what I would do if that were my son or your son being held in that prison. You know the only thing I thought of? **You. ** If you were in that prison, I would fight to hell and back to get you out because..._because that's what a good father does_ was left unsaid.

"I would fight for you Neal." Peter paused suddenly having a difficult time seeing the young man before him.

"I would fight for **you**_**." **__Son._

Neal felt Peter's hand reach out to his hair and down to his neck. A strange feeling, a memory perhaps, passed over him. _Peter had done this before. _

"You told me once, Neal, that out of all the people in your life, that I was the only one you trusted. Trust me now. I promise you."

Neal dropped his head to his chest breathing in, calming himself against the wracking sobs that threatened to overwhelm him. Peter continued to squeeze his charge's shoulder.

"Maybe El was right. I'm not half bad at this, "Peter offered attempting to revive normalcy.

At that, Neal looked to the man he had a "patriarchal relationship" with according to Moz and smiled. He knew things would be better in time because he had Peter and the promise.

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Well that is the end. I know a bit short but I hope you liked it . While I have no incentive to offer you, if you can review , love to hear what you thought. Funny thing was I had this written way before I saw Jeff Eastin's commentary on This episode and if appears I was thinking the same way he did about Peter seeing only Neal when he mentioned the prison escape. I guess I got something right for once! LOL While I do personally believe Neal's father lives, I decided to keep it canon according to the info provided. Maybe I will write another version where Caffrey senior lives:) Take care!**


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